What I Lost - Alexandra Ballard

Title: What I Lost
Author: Alexandra Ballard
Format: Hardcover
Rating: 4.5 Stars

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What sixteen-year-old Elizabeth has lost so far: forty pounds, four jean sizes, a boyfriend, and her peace of mind. As a result, she’s finally a size zero. She’s also the newest resident at Wallingfield, a treatment center for girls like her—girls with eating disorders. Elizabeth is determined to endure the program so she can go back home, where she plans to start restricting her food intake again. She’s pretty sure her mom, who has her own size 0 obsession, needs treatment as much as she does. Maybe even more. Then Elizabeth begins receiving mysterious packages. Are they from her ex-boyfriend, a secret admirer, or someone playing a cruel trick?

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What I Lost is a book about a young girl who develops anorexia. She doesn't believe she has an eating disorder though - or rather, she's happy about it, and doesn't see what the big deal is.  In fact, a friend asks her if she is anorexic, and she denies it, all the while thinking that she is happy people that she is anorexic, and says in her head that "I'm just a little anorexic. 

I really enjoyed this book.  I like the fact that this book gets into a lot of the medical things that can happen when people become anorexic, like growing lanugo, amenorrhea, and other issues.  It's important for people to realize that there is so much more to eating disorders than just not eating, or purging, and all that.  There are some serious medical issues that go hand in hand with ED's.

I think the author did a great job of covering the seriousness of anorexia with tact.  The story is well developed, and the characters are each very unique and each show how their eating disorders affect them in their own way. 

I appreciate that the story shows how hard it can be to overcome an ED.  I have no experience with this, but know people who have struggled with ED's in the past, and have watched them struggle, and overcome, and talk about how they will struggle with that for a long time.  The author does a great job of delving into what that struggle is like for people. 

I like that there is not much of a romance aspect to this book.  There is some talk about how Elizabeth has just broken up with her boyfriend, and a few moments in the book where she thinks maybe he wants her back.  There is also a discussion about how Elizabeth and another boy, but she is very upfront about the fact that for the time being, they can only be friends because Elizabeth needs to focus on her recovery.

One thing I found absolutely shocking is that there was a 12 year old at the inpatient center Elizabeth went to.  A 12 YEAR OLD!  What the hell is happening to these children that they are developing eating disorders?!  Also, while reading this book, I learned that there are people who run pro-anorexic websites, claiming that anorexia is a lifestyle choice, not an eating disorder.  I AM DISTURBED BY THIS!  Like, no, people, no - anorexia is not a lifestyle choice.  No.

I give a CW for anyone who has or had an ED, because this book does delve pretty deeply into that world, and that could trigger some people.